I need a support group. I need a surgical menopause, medical mistreatment, premature sibling deaths, autoimmune diseases, hormonal hell, Mayo Clinic patient, marathon tackler, life affirming but it will never be the same Support Group. Big problem: can't find one in my area.
So, I start walking (best physical and emotional therapy), but it doesn't always help. I get lonely. So I go on Facebook. I write a blog about my experiences and lessons. Still lonely. I like to actually talk to people. I talk to my dear hubby (for the 5 millionth time), I talk to my friends (the ones that are still around). They're kind of at a loss. They have witnessed my traumas the last 2 years, they see I'm still not the same, but don't have the foggiest idea of what to do to help. I know that sometimes there isn't anything that makes it better, sometime it just is. I keep fighting on, trying to develop a new sense of "normalcy." I have victories that bring me great happiness. I have moments that drop me back on my knees. I am frustrated.
I search for a support group...again. No luck. They don't even have a surgical menopause group for my age in all of Southern California tha I can find. If I want to discuss some of what I'm facing, I can hit the senior center, but I'm only 40. So what's my point?!?
I've come to the conclusion lately that we still have taboos, things we just don't want to discuss. I can see the physical recoil in the people I know, who genuinely care about me, when I bring up some of the things I've gone thru recently. It's hard for them to relate. It's hard to know what to say. Because many of us don't talk openly about the really tough stuff: illness, divorce, war, death, prison, financial hardship, mental disease, job loss, suicide, murder, rape, betrayal, and so on. When we go thru it, we brush it under the table, just wanting to fit in and be "normal." When we have not experienced it, we want to pretend it does't exist, like it can't be so close to our lives that we can almost touch it. That's why support groups pop up for almost everything from diabetes, to fibromyalgia, bereavement groups, to cardiac care, because sometimes people can ban together to support each other during an especially difficult time of life.
But I'm still searching for my support group. In the meantime, I'm going to keep on sharing my experiences, victories and frustrations right here on my blog. Encouraging not only myself, but others to Talk About Being Open with Others (T.A.B.O.O.s) I know I'm not alone. I hope my openness will touch another person who needs to feel that we all have struggles we deal from time to time. No life is untouched by some pain and sadness, it's just a matter of how you choose to tackle it.
The best advice I've heard online recently that really touched my heart and bolstered my spirit, "Trouble is a part of your life. If you don't share it, you don't give the person who loves you chance to love you enough." ~Dinah Shore
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