And She Lived (blankety blankety blank) Ever After?!?

Oh beloved sweet childhood fairy tales!  You know, the ones that lay out the course of lofty desires for little girls.  The ones that generally kill off the mother (why do they do that?!?!- I'm talking about you, Bambi, Snow White, and Cinderella) and then show young impressionable girlettes what can be yours no matter how smart or stupid you are, even if you're poor.  As long as you are pretty, you too, can find your Prince Charming, get hitched and live "happily ever after" (until you become a mom.)  Good old Disney, et al, are like the Tony Robbins of the little girl realm- pumping up fairy tale minded females with a can do attitude of marriage and happiness for all the days to come.  Whoa!  Back up a second...hey, what did happen exactly to ALL those fairy tale moms who keeled off?  Since their daughters all became princesses, doesn't that kinda make those moms Queenies?  Where are the Queenies in the fairy tales?  Why is it only about the princesses?  WHAT HAPPENED TO MY QUEENIE SISTERS?

To a certain degree, I followed the fairy tale formula.  Had some bumps growing up, got an education, (kept my mom alive, but dad's pretty much AWOL,)  found the prince at a sorority party, married the prince 5 years later, traveled, produced the perfect heir to the thrown (which made me a mother-this will be important later) and 10 years after that, the proverbial shit hit the royal fan!  One day, my life turned on a dime, and I've been desperately trying to get it back ever since.

Oh dear, this is doesn't look good for our Queenie...

I'll spare the gory details, but 3 years later with 3 Mayo Clinic visits and 3 months in a major POTS flare up, that's working on severely disabling me, I'm at the "now what happens?" stage of chronic illness.  I've been spending some serious quality time in this stage since my flare up, set back, relapse, whatever you want to call it.  I've had an unofficial POTS diagnosis since April 2010, but trying to get my estrogen replacement therapy and Hashimoto's thyroid disease balanced properly was the priority at the time, so POTS was put aside until those priorities were better managed.  It took another 17 months to finally add POTS and NCS to my growing list of newfound health issues since my surgical hysterectomy 3 years ago. The tilt table test and neuro-dynamics testing needed to nail down my diagnosis exacerbated my symptoms (understatement) and I've been declining ever since, even while experimenting with the standard POTS treatment protocol.  It gets me thinking, "is this how it all went down for those fairy tale moms?"

My condition(s) aren't fatal, but I still can't help but wonder if my fairy tale is over.  Is this the part of my story where the Queenie Mum no longer gets mentioned cause she's OMG type sick and doesn't get out much?  Or will I have the miracle recovery that will be worthy of a People Magazine cover story or at least inspire a solid Mystery Diagnosis episode?  I'm being brutally honest to tell you that it weighs heavily on me.  Medical specialists at Mayo Clinic tell me my prognosis is good (whatever that means.)  I will likely improve (whatever that means) with time...lots and lots and lots of time.  My age is against me (kinda rude), along with the fact that I have multiple ongoing conditions like surgical menopause, Hashimoto's disease, and psoriasis.  But the fact that I did gain some ground the year before is a good indicator that I can and will come out of this physical slump.  I'm hopeful, but I also feel physically tortured and exhausted every single day now.  I don't drive much, it's a major feat to get dressed, it's difficult to concentrate on even the simplest tasks, and exercise is getting harder and harder.  I'm weakened, but my will and spirit is not broken.  I still believe that my fairy tale will have a happy ending.  I will regain my strength, stabilize my health, renew my spirit, and emerge from this crisis the Queenie I was born to be.  How do I know this for sure?  Simple. I still have my heroic prince, my shining heir, a supportive royal court of family and friends, even MY Queenie mom is still here by my side (take THAT fairy tale mommy killers!!)  And deep within my being, I still have the mighty armor that protects me in my darkest hours, every day, every step of the way..I still have hope!