I know because I used to feel a lot more like Ginger. But since my surgical total hysterectomy two years ago, I can now relate a lot more to Mrs. Howell. Look, I get it, women have been griping about their menstrual cycle since they first got it, and it doesn't stop until they don't have it anymore. Then they complain about the after effects of not having a period. It's an old story, but frankly, women (like me, and my family, and my friends, and the neighbors, and those with daughters) need to know that the insanity that can be your female organs, or lack thereof, is not all in your head. I now am living proof!
Before TAH/BSO (hysterectomy), I had tons of energy, felt vibrant and useful taking care of my family and everyone else around me whether they wanted it or not, taking on the world and never saying "No!" - Ginger. Since instant menopause at the age of 38, I struggle to maintain any form of energy, I focus on taking care of my family and worry less about taking care of everyone else, and "no" has become a regular part of my vocab- Mrs. Howell.
In my Ginger days, my hair and skin was healthy and glowing. My eyes were bright and shiny. In my Mrs. Howell stage, my psoriasis is going nuts, my hair and skin is drier than the Mohave Desert, keeping my eyes hydrated is a full time job. Ginger days- I could keep tabs of not only my tasks and events, but those of everyone I knew and their family, all at the top of my head! Mrs. Howell days- I'm lucky if I can remember...wait... what was I saying?!?
The Ginger in me relished the thought of not having to deal with a period anymore. No more female products to pay for, don't have to worry about unplanned pregnancies, no more cramps, mid-month bloating and PMS. I could wear all the white I wanted! The Mrs. Howell in me has been juggling hormone replacement therapy, acid reflux meds, bone density screenings, mammograms, newly diagnosed thyroid disease, sleep deprivation, menopause supplements (that don't work), crying like a baby, bloating ALL THE TIME, and being so bitter about not being a Ginger, that I haven't even had time to think about not having my period anymore.
I spent many, many months working hard and raging against my body's new reality, desperate to get my Ginger back. But you know what?!? I finally came to the conclusion that I might not ever get back to my Ginger stage, but being Mrs. Howell isn't all that bad. Mrs. Howell always had herself together. She was the matriarch of the group, still very fashionable, and did you ever notice how relaxed she always was? She was always so calm and didn't take the weight of the world on her shoulders. She was the Queen of K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Stupid). I think her and Thurston were the only ones who felt like they were really on vacation. She could keep up with everyone else, when she chose too, but didn't get sucked into the duties she didn't want to. Some of it comes naturally with age, but being 40 with a hysterectomy, I know a lot of that comes from menopause!
One of my big lessons learned: Don't always wish for what you don't have or what is now lost, embracing what you are left with can save a lot of time and frustration and just might be exactly what you were meant to experience and be at this moment anyway!
What do you think? Your comments and feedback are always welcomed!
Accepting where I am now and being content is my daily goal. Not to say I don't have 12 other things on my TO DO list... but I find trying to keep up with the Joneses or having house/car/wardrobe/vacation envy (and it's especially easy to get sucked in where I live) is just a waste of energy and time. Because, lo and behold, the grass is rarely greener and there is often a lot less behind the fence than you might think!
ReplyDeleteThat being said, my mom has always believed that the female reproductive system should come with a ripcord for when you're finished with it :)